***Note: This is an excerpt cut-out from my longer articled called: “BPD: May Be One Of The Worst Mental Illnesses Of All”, to give the most succinct and quick explanation to non-BPDs some truths about BPD, the attached stigmas and consequently, how our worlds work.
This story was told and explained to me by a duck (a non-BPD – a layman, with no mental health background, with no mental illness, with no instigation or input from me – a swan). This DUCK (his preparation for this was unbeknownst to me) told and explained this story to ME – a SWAN (diagnosed as a person with High-Functioning BPD)…
The Duck says to me; “A non-BPD (unless they’re a mental health professional trained and practiced with BPD) doesn’t comprehend the world a BPD lives in, therefore they cannot relate. They don’t have the ability to understand a BPD. Let’s say a “normal” person is a duck then someone with BPD is a swan. That “normal” person only knows how to be a duck. And they can only understand what other ducks do. But those “normal” people, those ducks, see/observe/experience that person with BPD, who’s actually swan, as a duck. They can only see through the lenses of a duck, they only have the knowledge and understanding of a duck. But that person with BPD, is NO duck. And that will never change. That duck, will always be a duck, and not know any better, and they’ll live the rest of their lives that way. And when that swan finally learns the truth by being correctly diagnosed as a swan (and that’s only if they’re EVER correctly diagnosed)… that swan realizes that they never were, nor ever will be a duck. They may be able to become closer to a duck, if they work for years and years and years in intense therapy… But they will also have to spend the rest of their lives dealing with, listening to and being judged by those ducks, in their duck world… with whom that swan can never explain to, convince or make a single duck in the world understand what a swan is…”
I am a swan. I live with a duck. A duck who loves me so much, that he took it upon himself to learn and discover that he was a duck, I was swan and that he couldn’t ever fully understand what a swan was.
He, that duck, completely on his own, with no push or ideas from me – the swan – researched, read, learned and investigated using the correct sources and mental health professionals who specialize with BPD… To get to the to truth. That duck, tried to get the closest he possibly could become to being/understanding a swan, all for me. In the world of ducks, with a few swans who now know they’re swans (diagnosed correctly) and some swans who don’t know they’re swans and/or never will, a duck did something for a swan that melted the swan’s heart. He gave her the truest and most beautiful gift anyone had ever given her… that of understanding her as a swan and accepting her as one. He gave her what he automatically gave to other ducks… And instead of joining the rest of the world telling her she’d better learn to be a proper duck, he broke away and discovered the truth that the swan already knew. He joined the swan in her world, however briefly, and came back from it knowing the world was bigger than just the ducks in the duck pond . He gave her true love that day.